Ugh.

"Ugh" seems to be my motto these days.

It's how a lot of things are making me feel. 

Don't get me wrong, there are some fabulous times in my life. 

But more often than not, I just feel "ugh".

Last Friday I had to go in for an HSG test.

To get to the office I had to walk past the labor and delivery building.

Walking in I passed two teenagers who were about to deliver their babies.

Awesome.

As I walked by the building there were two families putting their 

brand new babies in the car, on their way home.

I couldn't help it, I started crying. 

I wanted to be the one loading up our brand new baby and taking them home.

Instead, I was headed to find out if my fallopian tubes were clear. 

Winning. 

Then in the past few days a slew of FB comments have been posted.

They all related to my friends finding out the sex of their babies in the next few weeks.

Most of them find out at the time Travis and I go back for our follow up 

appointment with the RE.

While they find out if they are having a boy or girl,

we are finding out what it's going to take just to get pregnant.

It's not fair. 

I could say that all day long.

It's not going to change a single thing.

But sometimes I just want to scream

"UGH"

And I'm not going to lie,

I often do scream. 

At FB messages.

Blog posts.

And myself.

In those 5 seconds of screaming, I feel just slightly better.

Then reality comes flying back at me.

Ugh.