Party Time

As of 11:59pm last night

I am officially done with school.

FOREVER.

I am thrilled. 

Thrilled to have my life back. 

Not having to spend my weekends working on homework.

Having time to spend with Travis.

And enjoying life. 

I'm trying not to think about the huge

student loan bills that will be rolling in any day now. 

Especially considering I really don't have any intention of 

using my degree in my major. 

LOL.

But I am done. 

Done. 

Done. 

Done.

Except for the fact that now I am strongly considering 

going to "school" to become a doula.

(That's a whole other blog post)

And I have a feeling I would enjoy this school much more.

But here is to enjoying the next weeks and months
with no worries about papers, projects and team assignments!

Our Weekend

This past weekend went by way too fast.

Travis worked all weekend.

I had Friday off which was a huge blessing.

I was able to sit at home all day and work on my final paper for class.

19 pages later, it's finally done.

I don't know what I would have done had I not had Friday off.

Saturday I went to my friend/bosses house to celebrate Easter.

I had an awesome time, as I always do.

We had mojitos and margaritas.

Both make me happy.

As does time with friends.

And the little ladies. 

Then Saturday night Travis took me to dinner.

We came home and watched Country Strong. 

I really liked it. 

Sunday I went up to my parents. 

It was nice to spend time with my sister and dad.

I just wish I could have spent more time with them. 

But now that I am finished with school, I can head up to see them 

without having to stress about getting homework done.

Overall, the weekend was great. 

Now, I'm just counting down 'til next weekend!

Ugh.

"Ugh" seems to be my motto these days.

It's how a lot of things are making me feel. 

Don't get me wrong, there are some fabulous times in my life. 

But more often than not, I just feel "ugh".

Last Friday I had to go in for an HSG test.

To get to the office I had to walk past the labor and delivery building.

Walking in I passed two teenagers who were about to deliver their babies.

Awesome.

As I walked by the building there were two families putting their 

brand new babies in the car, on their way home.

I couldn't help it, I started crying. 

I wanted to be the one loading up our brand new baby and taking them home.

Instead, I was headed to find out if my fallopian tubes were clear. 

Winning. 

Then in the past few days a slew of FB comments have been posted.

They all related to my friends finding out the sex of their babies in the next few weeks.

Most of them find out at the time Travis and I go back for our follow up 

appointment with the RE.

While they find out if they are having a boy or girl,

we are finding out what it's going to take just to get pregnant.

It's not fair. 

I could say that all day long.

It's not going to change a single thing.

But sometimes I just want to scream

"UGH"

And I'm not going to lie,

I often do scream. 

At FB messages.

Blog posts.

And myself.

In those 5 seconds of screaming, I feel just slightly better.

Then reality comes flying back at me.

Ugh. 

My New Toy

Travis and I have always talked about buying 

a nice camera when we had kids. 

We knew it was an investment worth every penny.

Since my sister bought a new camera recently 

she let me borrow her Cannon Rebel.

Borrowing has now turned into buying. 

It's perfect for our "needs". 

I have no intention of trying to become a photographer.

All we wanted/needed was something better than a point & shoot.

I have been playing around with it lately. 

Here are some silly pictures I have snapped, while playing around with the camera.

I'm excited to learn how to actually use this camera. 

That's next on my to-do list after I finish school next week!

I Need An Explanation

I need someone to explain something to me.

Between blogs and tv shows 

(Pregnant in Heels, Bringing Home Baby, Teen Mom, Baby Story)

I keep hearing pregnant couples say they don't want the baby 

to "change our social life or lifestyle".

Why on earth are you having a baby?

A child is going to drastically change your life. 

Especially your social life.

If you don't want to give up going out every night and partying,

or getting together with friends 5 nights a week,

why did you get pregnant?

I have a few "friends" on facebook,

and weekend after weekend new pictures are posted of them.

I would swear these people are 18 years old, 

out partying all the weekend long.

You would never guess they have kids at home. 

I don't think parents need to abandon their life, but things are going to change!

Maybe I'm missing something. 

I just can't imagine having a child and honestly thinking life is going to stay the same.

Open Letters

Dear Life,

I promise in just two short weeks we will be reunited again. 

No more homework, logging in to class, or lazy team members.

Just you, me, and some pear vodka.

Love,

Your exhausted long lost friend

Dear Pear Vodka,

Thank you for existing.

Without you I couldn't survive school. 

Or anything else.

Love,

Your bitch

Dear Body,

I know you think I tried killing you yesterday.

I promise that was not my intention.

You and I have a lot of work to do on our new elliptical.

Many hours will be spent there.

Get used to it. 

Big changes in our future together. No more sitting on the couch.

Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

The One Who Tried Killing You

Dear Asshole Father in the Target Parking Lot,

I just about crapped my pants as I watched you put your 2(ish) year old son

on the lap of the female passenger riding in the front seat of your car. 

I was certain you were going to remove him and place him in his car seat. 

But no, I watched you take his car seat out of the car and place it in the trunk

so you could fit the plastic container you bough in the back seat.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I wish I would have called the cops on you.

I really truly hope you did not get in a car accident.

But even more than that, I really, really, really hope you drove past a cop and he pulled your 

shitty ass over. 

I cannot believe you would put your young son in danger like that.

I hate you.

Sincerely,

The Crazy Car Seat Lady 

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

To the RE's office we go. 

Thursday is our first appointment with an RE.

She comes highly recommended, which is really important to me.

I have so many emotions about this appointment.

I'm nervous, excited, anxious and hopeful.

I know not much is actually going to happen at our first appointment,

other than discussing our history.

But I can't help but have all these feelings about the appointment and the reason we are there.

I really never thought we would be in this situation to begin with. I doubt most people do.

I'm trying to stay positive, which is something I'm not known for!

All I know is I want to be a mom.

Whatever we have to do to create our family, I'm willing to do.

I'm just dying to know what I actually need to be doing.

I'm hoping soon there is a plan of action. 

Because ever though Travis signed "f*ck you" instead of "thank you" 

to the girls I nanny for this weekend,

I still know he will be a great dad and I can't wait to start our family. 

A Love Story

It all began four years ago.

I was shopping with a friend who was a few months from having her daughter

and we were in a boutique baby store.

That was when I saw the most amazing (diaper) bag I had ever laid eyes on.

It was so unique and simply stunning.

I checked the price tag and about had a heart attack.

Way too much for my budget.

But it was love at first sight.

I knew one day I would own one.

Over the past four years I have stalked these bags.

Deep down I knew I would never own a brand new one.

Like I said, they were pricey bags, and I just couldn't ever justify spending that money

on the most gorgeous bag I had ever seen.

I stalked Craigslist hoping to one day find the bag at an incredible price.

One time I found one, but by the time I emailed the seller it was gone.

Given our recent "challenges" getting pregnant 

I put the hunt for the bag on hold. 

I figured I had other things to focus on. 

Then about 6 weeks ago a preview of the new line came out.

Love was an understatement.

There was a new style.

And a new color combination. 

Grey and pink.

My love intensified.

Rewind to this past Friday. 

My friend/boss hands me a gift bag for my graduation.

I almost shit my pants when I saw what was inside. 

The best present I have ever received.

A brand spankin' new Petunia Picklebottom Cake Hampton Holdall diaper bag. 

It's even better than I dreamed it would be! 

Excuse me while I go stare at it. 

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