Another Open Letter

I am a waitress at a popular chain restaurant. And quite frankly, I am at my whit's end. So, this is my chance to say what I think/feel about my guests.

Dear *Guests*,
To start with, I don't know that all of your deserve to be called guests. Most of you should be referred to as Jerks, (I'm trying to clean up my potty mouth)and that is being kind. To start with, it is no longer 1983; a 10% tip doesn't cut it any longer. Do you realize that I have to pay tax on the tips you are supposed to give me, even if you don't leave me a single dollar? If you don't have the money to go out to eat and give your server a great tip, don't go out to dinner. Stay at home, and then you can have exactly what you want, how you want it, and you don't have to stiff someone at their job.

I understand that not every server will give you the best service, however more often than not YOUR first reaction to us is what puts us in a bad mood. If I greet your table and before I can say hello you are ordering me to go get you a drink, don't be surprised when I am giving you less than stellar service. I also am not sure when it became okay to snap at me, yell "hey lady" across the restaurant, or throw some object to get my attention, but news flash IT IS NOT OKAY. If I went into your job and started yelling at you or throwing objects at you, most likely I would be escorted out in handcuffs by the police. So, why do you feel it is okay to do that at my job? I am not here to be your bitch or your slave. You can ask nicely for something, do not demand it. Another tip that might help out, if you know you want something (ranch, steak sauce, extra whatever) with your meal, ask for it when you order. It's not that hard to do. You seem to have no problem asking for things one item at a time, forcing me to spend extra time running around.I know I could use a few pounds, however I don't need you to be my personal trainer by sending me all around for things you need. Now take this into consideration, have you ever wondered where your server is when you need something? They are probably running around getting the table next to you 400 things they could have asked for when they ordered, but thought it would be fun to watch me run around and have no time to devote to your table.

I cannot speak for everyone, however, I DO MY JOB. I am not just ignoring you for fun. One more news flash, you are not my only table. I have several others to deal with. So when you need something, and so do my 5 other tables, learn to be patient. I don't have Go-Go-Gadget arms, and I can only do so much. I would love to see you deal with 20 people at the same time.

Like I mentioned earlier, tipping is a huge problem. If you cannot afford to go out to eat and leave a tip, don't go out to eat. If you are dropping your teenagers off for dinner with their friends, educate them on tipping. $3 on a $52 check is not okay. I have a good feeling in just a few short years, your kids will be serving tables, do you want them being treated the same way they treat me? I hope not. If you decide to meet up with your long lost friend and sit in my section, congrats on seeing that person! However, sitting at the same table for 3 hours chatting and then only leaving a $5 tip is unacceptable. In the 3 hours you sat there, I could have turned that table at least twice, and made more money. If you want to sit and chat for hours, either add $5 for each hour you sit there, or go to Starbucks..that is why it was created! And to the parents of wild and crazy children, listen, I LOVE kids. I really do. But listening to your child scream at the top of their lungs for 15 minutes (yes, this has happened) is really unpleasant. Take your child to the bathroom or outside. Quite frankly, not only I am now deaf, but I am embarrassed for you. Be a parent and DO SOMETHING. And when your child decides to throw every piece of food on the table on the floor, you have no idea how nice it is to offer to clean it up.I have a feeling your child doesn't get away with that at home. So, why is it okay when you are out in public? I have NEVER let anyone clean up their child's mess, but to the people who offer to clean it up, I am so grateful to you. Thank you. Simply offering makes my day.

Thank you to the few people who understand how crappy being a waitress is, and make my life no quite so horrible. To the rest of you who seem to think you can boss me around, be rude to me, tell me off, and get in my face, don't worry, you've got it coming to you. I am sorry your life is so horrible that you think it is okay to take it out on me. Why don't you try being a server, and let's see how you do. Something tells me you won't be making too much money.