A Few Favorites

I thought I would share a few things I am loving right now. 

They are a little random!

Urban Decay Naked Palette

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I cannot say enough about this. I don't know how I lived without it for so long.

All of the colors are great, amazing pigment, and blend beautifully.

You can create so many different looks, just with this one palette.

And the Eyeshadow Primer Potion it comes with, rocks my world! 

I'm dying to get the Naked Palette II

Garnier BB Cream

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This stuff feels amazing on.

It is so light, goes on easy and really does hydrate.

I've always had insanely dry skin, and since I started using this 

I don't have to apply moisturizer 10x's every morning. 

Coconut Oil

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I've recently learned of the millions of benefits of coconut oil.

Is there anything this stuff cannot do? I don't think so.

I found a giant tub at Costco for only $16.00, which is a crazy good deal.

So far I have used it for: DIY vapor rub, lotion, in my smoothies. 

I have many, many more plans for it. 

If you don't know of the benefits, do some research,

this stuff is amazing.

Essential Oils

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Along with the coconut oil research, I've been reading a lot about essential oils.

I'm slowly building my stash. Very slowly.

There are so many EO's out there, and it's a little overwhelming. 

So far I have Clary Sage, Peppermint and Eucalyptus. 

The Clary Sage is supposed to be good for fertility.

I've used them with the coconut oil topically, and also inhaling them. 

I also bought espom salt, threw it in a bowl with peppermint and eucalyptus EO's,

mixed them up and have my own relaxing bath salts. 

 

Randoms

1. I somehow got lucky and my Target still had a good selection of Halloween

stuff, and it was marked 90% off. SCORE!

Three pillows, 2 giant bags of candy, a wall hanging, 2 cupcake mixes,

2 set of cupcake liners, and I know there were a few other things. 

Grand total: $16.00

2. I made a headboard for our bedroom last week. It's just about finished...

as in it just needs to be hung. It was a huge pain in the ass, but I love it! 

(note to self, stop taking on projects with chevron prints)

3. My parents are coming to visit for a few days.

It's a very short visit, but I am so so so so so excited. 

4. I'm going to nanny again. For twins!

I should start at the first of the year. They are 2 weeks old right now.

I'm really excited and the family is awesome. 

They just moved and there are 4 sets of twins on their street. 

I'm thinking I just watch them all for a giant group rate! haha

5. Does anyone watch Revenge? 

I am obsessed. Completely obsessed. 

And, I'm pretty thrilled Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back. 

6. I bought the most amazing candle yesterday at Market Street.

It's Roasted Espresso and heavenly. If you have a Market Street near you,

get yourself one stat.

iPhone Picture Dump

I finally uploaded all the pictures from my phone tonight

and thought I would share some of them over here. 

Here's what we have been up to.

my sweet callie girl

we found an awesome dog park in dallas with a pond for

dogs to swim in. callie loves it. 

trader joes in my 'hood. amazing.

my 2013 planner. loving it much more than my erin condren one.

my new bag.

my sister at babes.

sampling wine margaritas at the fair.

swinging picnic table..way too much work for me

my sister and her other true love

we found this stellar jacket at the fair

 

my new bathtub at our new house

callie loves her backyard

i *may* have gotten a new car..again

 

someone got a haircut last week and i about died when i saw how short they cut it

the view from our backyard

 

(r to l) pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, homemade carmel apples

christmas music and corn, avo, black bean, bell pepper salad

  

Tidbits

Hello!

I've been MIA recently.

I just don't feel like there is anything exciting to blog about

and I don't want to bore you guys to death with posts about nothing. 

Here are the few things that have been going on.

We would really appreciate some prayers. 

Things have been mentioned numerous times and in several different

ways that a promotion is on the horizon for T.

He has worked so hard for this, and he really does deserve it.

I just wish we knew when we would find out. 

The other part of the promotion is that it could be anywhere in the

DFW metroplex. I'm hoping it's close enough that we don't have to move.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the area we live in. 

Aside from back in Cali there is nowhere else I want to live. 

*** TMI alert*** You've been warned. 

Like I mentioned we took this past month off of treatments so I 

could work on my stress levels, and overall health. 

Well, for the first time in who knows how long I had a normal cycle length.

When not medicated my cycles are between 40 - 56 days. 

This month was 33 days! I know it doesn't seem like much, but 

for this girl that was huge. I would be thrilled if this continued. 

I started seeing a chiropractor/wellness Dr last week. 

He has me taking all sorts of pills. 

8 pills three times a day to be exact. 

And some terrible Gallbladder drink that burns like fire going down. 

We will leave out the details, but I can tell you this stuff is working. 

I also had to keep a food diary this week.

Hahaha, that was fun. 

I truthfully don't have huge expectations for all this,

I'm just hoping for better overall health. 

Oh, and I'm also taking Royal Jelly now.

And praying it's magical powers help me out!!

Fourteen days until I get to see my family and friends. 

I CANNOT WAIT. 

My weekly bunch of randoms. 

* Travis and I were off together yesterday and discovered the most 

amazing furniture store. It's where all the local designers go, but it's open to the public.

OH.MY.GOSH.

I about died when we walked in. There was not a single piece in the entire store 

I didn't want to take home with us. Rarely do I find pieces I love, but I wasn't 

able to find a piece I didn't like! Now, I just need a house and enormous raise for all my finds.

* I adore the Aveda store. Like, I could spend hours in there.

I went in last week to check out some stuff and found these two items.

I now cannot live without either.

The first is a balancing body mist. It's supposed to balance your chakra's.

This stuff smells incredible. It has essential oils that are great for de-stressing.

The second pic is blue oil. You rub it on the back of your neck or wrists

and take some nice deep breaths. I have been using this bad boy a lot. 

It really does help calm me down. And it tingles on the back of your neck.

I love them both. I highly recommend both! 

* The weather is getting hot here in Dallas. I'm not loving it. 

I do enjoy the warm evenings and the sun not setting until 8:30,

but other than that, I can really do without the 90 degree days. 

* The Mexican food here in Texas sucks. Anyone who tries to tell you differently

is full of crap. We did find one place super close to us that is good. Not great,

but good. The best part is I can modify something they make to create a California burrito. 

These bad boys are my weakness. I crave them.

The servers all think I am insane every time I order it, but I don't care! 

Mmmm....

 

And for those that don't know what a California burrito is:

carne asada, cheese, pico de gallo and french fries.

aka heaven in a tortilla

* We just got this bag in at my job last week.

I immediately picked it up and started carrying it around. I'm dying to buy it.

It's technically a diaper bag, but I want it for a purse. 

I'm sure it makes an awesome diaper bag as it has about 1 billion pockets.

The inside is bright red.

Maybe it will makes it way to me for my birthday! 

Hope y'all have a great week!

Weekly Randoms

* We are really bad around here and eat out all the time. 

But I'm trying to get better about cooking dinners.

This was on the menu Tuesday night.

It was so damn good. And so damn easy.

Sauteed chicken breast, homemade pico de gallo and sliced avocado. 

* In August we are taking my first trip down to Austin for a weekend. 

I have never been and I'm pretty excited. 

Especially because the main reason for the trip is for a little photo shoot I booked

with the amazingly talented Lyndsay at Life In Motion photography.

She had posted on Facebook the other day she only had 2 spots left for

a love light session, and after that she would be taking at least a year off. 

I have always wanted to have a session with her. 

I knew this was our chance. 

It's booked.

 Now I need to find a fantastic outfit! 

* Since we are taking some time off of infertility treatments I'm really working

on controlling my stress and anxiety. 

This week I bought some Clary Sage essential oil. 

It's supposed to be good for depression, anxiety and uterine health.

I figured I have nothing to lose, might as well give it a try. 

I also treated myself to a massage yesterday.

It was one of the best massages I have ever had. 

I love a good massage. LOVE.

* This is super random, but the birds here in Texas are flippin' insane.

I swear to you. I have never seen such lazy, psycho birds in my whole life.

I cannot tell you how many birds I have seen run over because 

they refuse to get out of the way as cars are on the road.

I see at least 2-3 a day. 

Let's also include the number of birds that straight up dive bomb my windows.

Freaks me the heck out. 

* I've had a few people comment about how my job sounds like so much fun.

Don't get me wrong, it certainly has it's fun moments, but on the

weekdays when we are slow most my time is spent dealing with customer issues

and dusting all the furniture. And we have A LOT of furniture. 

I often hang my head in shame that my college degree 

got me a job dusting furniture. Good times.

 

* We are getting rid of cable in a few weeks,

and I'm most excited because I won't have to watch endless hours of golf! 

* I really, really miss this. 

Randoms

* I first have to say thank you all for the kind comments and emails I have received. 

I really do appreciate each and every one. 

What is sad is that so many of you know the exact pain we are feeling. 

I just hate that.

* Travis was in our room making business calls tonight,
I walked in to find him like this.
This is how we do business around our house.

 

* We were planning on heading out to California at the beginning of June to visit my family.

Travis put in a request for vacation time at work, and when he went to finalize it 

yesterday discovered his GM have himself that time off. In the past 24 hours we have

had to completely re-schedule everything. It's been chaos!

But, it's all done now and our trip is booked. 

CANNOT. WAIT.
 
* I got a little package in the mail today from Erin Condren.
I have to say, I just adore her stuff.
But good heavens is it expensive. And I'm not 100% certain it's totally worth the price.
Hopefully the new planners for next year will have the month tabs laminated.

 

 

* Sunday night we went out to dinner with some new friends we've made.
It was so nice to get out with another couple.
The last time we went out with another couple was almost a year ago with
Kim and Keith and the girls. 
It is so nice to have friends Travis and I are both get along with and
can go out and talk for hours and enjoy their company.
Coincidentally, our new friends also used our infertility Dr,
and they are currently 20 weeks pregnant, and we are just thrilled for them.
And they are moving close to us in the next few weeks! We can't wait. 

* We are taking this month off from trying to get pregnant.
It was a bit of a last minute decision.
I don't handle stress very well, and I know how big of an impact it can take on my body.
Well, this past week I've been insanely overwhelmed.
Yesterday I made Travis drive me to CVS so I could test my blood pressure because
I was sure I was on the verge of a heart attack.
I'm taking this month to work on managing my stress and eliminating
as many extra stress factors as I can.

* I posted this a while ago on Instagram, but never here.
In case you need an idea of just how bad my baby shopping addiction is,
here is the proof.

 

* We stopped by Best Buy a week ago and I discovered this nice giant tv.

Aside from in real life, this is the only way to see Justin Timberlake.

This picture does not do the size of the tv justice. 

Let's just say Travis had to drag me out of Best Buy because I did not want to leave.

Weekly Randoms

1. I have a huge bruise on my stomach from my trigger injection last week.

It's been 8 days and that beast is still there.

It doesn't hurt but goodness it's ugly. 

2. Travis and I started attending a home group bible study on Thursday nights.

We are both loving it.

It's great to be around other couples and have that time of fellowship.

I wish we had done this a long time ago. 

3. I'm over work right now. 

It's dead. I mean DEAD.

And lately most our customers are assholes.

Rude, entitled assholes. 

If you order furniture from me and I tell you it's going to be 8-10 

weeks for the MANUFACTURER to send it to us, 

it's not my fault it isn't here yet. Back off and shut up. 

And the next person to sigh 100 times while I'm installing their car seat

sweating my ass off because they don't know how to

can figure it out on their own. Learn to read the instruction manual next time. 

4. On that note, the number of people who tell me they did read the 

instruction manual on car seat installation yet then I check it and it is 

completely wrong would be 1 out of every 1. 

It's not that hard.

Yet 99.9 % of the seats I see are not installed correctly.

 5. I'm watching Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis. 

In my dreams he would come in and design and decorate my entire home. 

6. If there were a Olympic sport for getting amazing deals at Gap,

Kim would take home the gold, and I would be right behind with the silver. 

She trained me well. 

I walked out tonight with 8 items, including a ruffled bathing suit and a pair of jeans

and only spent $35! I should maybe mention these are baby clothes,

but it's still an incredible deal.  

Weekly Randoms

I've decided I'm just going to do a weekly randoms post,

since I rarely have enough material for full blog posts. 

On to this weeks randoms...

1. Most exciting of all, my sister and BIL closed on their first house today! 

I am beyond thrilled for them.

I cannot wait to go out there in a few months to see the house. 

So proud of you Sista'!

2. I've finally started to make some friends out here.

I will say, people here in Texas are pretty darn friendly.

It has been so nice to have girlfriends to go grab lunch with or go shopping. 

I am really thankful to be meeting some really great people,

and it's not only nice for me to get to hang with them, but for Travis and 

their husbands to get along so we can all go out together. 

3. I went to lunch today with one of said girlfriends.

The weather was lovely so we decided to sit on the patio.

I wasn't quite prepared for the intense sun.

I got home looking like this...

Note to self, slather on sunscreen next time. This is not a good look.

4. We spent Easter at home watching The Masters.

I have to admit, I got pretty into on the final day.

I was really rooting for Bubba Watson. I was so happy he won! 

I'm not exactly sure what has happened to me that I'm enjoying watching golf. 

5. Injectables are making me CRAAAAZY.

Holy wow.

I don't even know what to say. This shiz is intense. 

God help us and our marriage if pregnancy hormones are anything like this. 

6. Saw the new Pioneer Woman cookbook today.

It's on my must buy soon list.

I was drooling flipping the pages.

Pretty sure she is my hero! 

Bits and Pieces

Life is rather mundane these days,

therefor I don't have a whole blog post worth of material to chat about. 

So again I am left with a post of randoms. 

Enjoy.

1. I'm 3-4 days in to the 2 week wait. 

I forgot how slowly time passes when you are waiting. 

I swear Thursday feels like 3 months ago. 

2. I'm finally making friends out here! 

It is so nice to have people to hang out with. haha

The stereotype is true; people in Texas are nicer! 

3. I'm a cheap ass. Major cheap ass.

I've been known to put a shirt back on the rack that was $8

because I was determined to wait for it to go further on clearance.

Well, Thursday Travis demanded I go buy myself some "real" clothes. At full price.

I still couldn't justify full prices, so I went to the Gap outlet that was having a nice sale. 

I am happy to say I came home with lots of stuff,

and only three items are going back as I just can't justify the price!

4. I love, love, love my Erin Condren planner.

However, it weights a friggin' ton. 

Seriously, I have to take it out of my purse every time I shop

or else my shoulder starts to throb. 

5. After talking with many customers at work who have also dealt with infertility,

I'm really happy to know I'm not the only one who buys baby stuff before being pregnant.

I can't tell you how many people I have met who already have a crib! 

I feel better knowing I'm not alone.

I know this is going to sound insane, and probably not make much sense,

but I've realize for me, buying baby stuff is a way of coping. 

If feel like I were to suddenly stop it would be like I was giving up hope. 

I know, I sound insane! 

6. With the above being said, I would like to be to known I scored at Baby Gap two weeks ago.

I got $275 worth of clothes for a whopping $35!!!

I owned that store! 

7. Even though I spent two weeks here in Texas last August, 

I'm 99% sure I have no idea what is coming this summer in terms of heat.

Help me!

Randoms.

I've got nothing big to share, so random bits about life it is.

~ Had an RE appointment yesterday. I had 19 follies, none of which were even close

to being big enough to do anything. The biggest I had was 9mm. Boo.

I can't help but have hope every month that God will work a miracle and

I will get pregnant. I'm trying not to lose that hope and faith, but there are some really

tough moments when I just can't help but question why it hasn't happened yet. 

Ugh. It's a daily struggle sometimes to try and stay positive. 

~ Started my child passenger safety certification training today. 

It wasn't what I expected, but I'm really glad I'm taking the class.

However, one of the instructors is the biggest bitch ever. 

She really makes class fun.

(insert sarcasm font)

~ I've really been missing my sister lately.

Her husband and her recently opened escrow on their first house, 

and while I am beyond thrilled for them, I so wish I was there to enjoy

decorating and designing the place with her, and the excitement of buying their first place.

It's moments like this I wish we had never moved.

Miss you Sista'! 

~ Travis got insanely sunburned yesterday.

I didn't know it was possible to be so red. 

He would not be happy if I showed you a picture of his face, 

so here is his forearm. His face and neck are worse. 

~ We are watching Survivor as I type and while I would never 

in a million years go on this show, I would very, very happily love to spend

a day splashing around in the gorgeous crystal blue water surrounding them.

~ I have two "product suggestions" I'm posting later this week. I feel kinda weird doing these. 

Someone commented asking about a jogging stroller, so I'm going to give my opinion on BOB.

I'm also doing one about the new City Mini GT. 

Any other products you want to know about? 

 

~ I can't believe we have already been here in Texas for 7 months.

Sometimes it feels like just yesterday we moved here.

Other days it feels like it's been an eternity.

Today, with the awesome humidity it felt like forever.

I could really, really do without the humidity. 

 

Randoms

1. Yesterday was CD1, which means we finally get to start treatment again!

WOOHOO! 

This month I have no expectations as all we can use is Clomid so that going forward

our insurance will cover the good stuff (injectables). 

But I'm thrilled we are finally at this point so by next month 

we will hopefully have a real shot at getting pregnant!

2. The weather here has been amazing the past few days.

Of course it has been the days I am scheduled to work,

and the day's I'm off have been less than stellar. 

Oh well, you win some you lose some. 

3. Next week I am being certified as a Child Passenger Safety Technician. 

Well, before I get certified I have to go through four 8-hour days of classes.

But I'm pretty excited for it. Not sure if I have ever mentioned it here,

but I'm a bit of a car seat maniac. Seeing them used incorrectly drives me batty. 

4. In June we were planning to meet my parents in Arizona to celebrate my birthday. 

But since my sister and her hubs are in the process of trying to buy a house, 

we figured the timing may work out that they would be moving in and getting settled
around that time. So instead of flying to Arizona, we would go to California instead.

I really hope it works out for them, I know how badly they want this house, 

and they have worked their little butts off for it. And, it's the perfect excuse

to spend a week with family and friends again, and a house warming party!

5. Speaking of my sister, I love that girl dearly. 

I am just so proud of her and all she has accomplished. 

It's amazing watching my little sister have such strength and determination 

and growing into an amazing wife, friend and photographer. 

And hopefully soon, a mom! (hint hint)

I can't wait for the day she can quit her job and solely focus on her own business. 

(Enter shameless plus) 

LuLu's Photography

If you are in Temecula area, San Diego or O.C., check her out please! 

6. Since I work at a baby store and get to play with baby gear all.day.long

I thought I might start blogging about some of my favorite products. 

These will just be my own opinions and what I see as pros and cons. 

If there is any product in particular you are curious about let me know.
Since this is my favorite, I think it will be my first post.

 

I know, you can just hardly wait.
(There really needs to be a sarcasm font)

Randoms

Just a bunch of random thoughts and happenings.

~ I finally called our insurance co. to see about IVF coverage and whether we had to try

X,Y, and Z before we could try IVF. Turns out, we don't have a dime of coverage for IVF.

I was stunned. When we met with our first RE they went over our coverage, and we were told

we had $20k for IVF. Looks as though it's only for A.I. 

We are going to continue trying IUI and try to save some money along the way for IVF.

~ I started taking Zoloft two weeks ago. It's life changing. Amazing. 

I love the new person I am. I wish I had done this years ago. 

I honestly cannot believe how much it has helped my anxiety in such a short time frame,

and how much I am enjoying life again. 

Travis keeps commenting what an entirely different person I am. 

It's a good thing! 

~ We are headed to California in a few weeks and we both cannot wait! 

The girls are turning 2, and I wouldn't miss their birthday for anything. I am so excited to see them!

It will be so nice to spend so much time with family and friends.
I don't think I'm going to want to leave. 

~ A few weeks after we get back from California Kim is flying out here to visit me for a weekend.

I am beyond excited! 

But now I am in a rush to make our little apartment look pulled together and finish 

the decorating I've been working on since we moved in. 

Hopefully it will look decent by the time she gets here.

~ I'm torn between switching to a new RE. The guy we see now has a fantastic reputation, 

and comes highly recommended. However, I didn't see him a single time during our last cycle. With our first RE I saw her every single appointment. Also, the office infuriates me. A) You don't get to schedule your own appointment, they just tell you when you are coming in. B) They don't open until 8 am and close at  4pm. Then Wednesdays they close at noon. Even just for a monitoring appointment I can get anything earlier than 8am. And finally, they want to see you ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME. 

I had 9 appointments in a span of 20 days last cycle.

I understand I have to be monitored, but I certainly didn't have that many appointments with our last RE. 

And the fact that they don't accommodate appointments around my schedule doesn't help. 

Do I leave a great RE because of this, or am I just being dramatic? 

I think I was so spoiled by Dr. Morales and expect nothing less now.

That's all for now. Hope you are having a great start to 2012!

Randoms

This post will be a dump of random stuff. Enjoy.

~My parents have been here for the past 5 days and I have LOVED having them here.

I really don't want them to leave tomorrow morning. I'm going to be a mess.

~My job hunt still sucks. I never in a million years thought it was going to be this hard. 

~Tomorrow we are going to the car dealership and attempting to work out a deal 

to trade in my car. I know it's just a car, but it sucks. 

~My 18 pregnant friends have started having their babies. It's worse than watching 

them all announce their pregnancy. Here they are having their babies, and I'm still 

trying my hardest to get pregnant. It's so unfair.

~The pain of IF sucks, and while I would never wish it on anyone, I kinda wish some people 

knew the pain and frustration of struggling with IF. I have so many friends who take it for granted. 

Maybe I am naive because I've never been pregnant, but I just want to tell some of them 

to sit back and try to enjoy it. It's not that easy for everyone, and many people would LOVE to be in their position.

~I ventured out to Hobby Lobby for the millionth time today and bought some fabric. They have

the most adorable fabric. I could spend hundreds of dollars there. Thank goodness I don't have 

a steady income so that won't be a problem. 

~While this move has been anything close to fun, easy or remotely enjoyable, it has brought

Travis and I closer together and taught us to rely on each other more than we ever have before.

This situation has reminded me what an awesome guy I married.

~This is going to sound terrible, but I'm shocked how stupid some of my "friends" are when it comes 

to their own labor and delivery. It makes me sad they are so uneducated about it, but then I wonder 

why they don't research it and know what's really going on with their own body. 

~Maybe I am just crazy but I'm really surprised how many people are willing to drop $500+ on a 

crib for their child, but only spend $200 on a stroller/travel system/convertible car seat. REALLY?

Your child's car seat, that could essentially save their life, you are to be a cheap ass on, but there 

is no holding back on a piece of furniture that will sit there for maybe 2 years.

Please tell me if I am missing something, because I just don't get it.

Randoms. Volume 4

This post is just a bunch of randoms. 

1.The weather here in Texas is mother flippin' HOT!

Last week was pretty nice and cool, but this week it's back in the 100's. 

Lovely.

2. I bought some fall scented candles the other day, and a fall smelly for my car.

They are divine.

Get yourself from Bath & Body stat.

3. The  job hunt out here sucks.

I've sent out at least 40 resumes, and I'm not having much luck. 

This is a great economy to be fresh out of college and looking for a job. 

4. I went to a ladies dinner thingy with my mother-in-law at her church tonight.

The food was terrible.

But the message was just what I needed these days. 

5. Not only does not working such because we need the income,

but every time I go to the store and buy something I feel guilty.

I never thought I would feel this way, I always assumed I would be thrilled to spend Trav's money,

but I hate knowing I'm not contributing to our family in any way right now.

6. I miss my family.

Terribly.

I miss the girls. 

Every day I think about what we would be doing at that exact time. 

Who's dumbass idea was it to move out here?

Hello

I noticed I have some new follower's thanks to my BFF/boss Kim. 

Hello, and welcome to the most boring blog of all time! haha

It's true though.

You will quickly realize I'm not that interesting of a blogger.

And I certainly don't have lot's of pictures of super cute kiddos to post. 

But I thought I would give you a quick run through of who I am.

Although, Kim already did a pretty good job of filling you in.

I have been Sophia & Lily's nanny for the past 14 months. 

I can't say anything else about them or I will start sobbing.

My husband and I are moving to Texas at the end of this month.

He grew up there. I have only gone to visit three times.

One of those trips was only for 36 hours.

The most consecutive days I have spent there are six . 

And yet, I thought it would be a good idea to move there.

Now you can see that I am certifiably crazy. 

We have been TTC for almost 18 months.

I currently have 20 friends that are pregnant, and no, I'm not exaggerating.

Of them, not one has dealt with infertility. I guess I am the lucky winner of that title.

We are about to embark on our first IUI cycle this coming Monday.

I hope and pray it works, but I'm very doubtful. 

I'm generally a sarcastic, smart ass type person. 

I very much enjoy alcohol...Jack & Coke, Sangria, Absolut pear & sprite..just to name a few.

I don't have any pets because our current apartment won't allow us to.

Travis and I live in a 542 sq.ft apartment, and I firmly believe if we can survive that,

we can make it through just about anything together.

And although I'm clearly not pregnant, I have more baby gear that people with a 6 month old.

My sister and I talk to each other in British accents 98% of the time. 

I deal with wicked anxiety. 

I've seen six therapist's in my lifetime.

My husband tells me I don't have a filter, and it's very true.

So that's me in nutshell. 

Thanks for stopping by. 

 I will try not to bore the ever loving crap out of you. 

But I can't make any promises.

Randoms

This post is going to be all over the place. 

I'm warning you now.

 ~I had my follow up appointment Friday to check for follicles.

I only had 1.

It was still measuring small. 

I go back Tuesday to see if it has grown.

I'm hoping another one will have popped up. 

~I was really upset Friday after my appointment, like, broke down sobbing on my way to work.

I have cried a lot this past week. I'm naturally pretty sensitive, but this is out of control.

I don't know if it's the stress of everything going on, or the effects of Clomid, but good grief.

 ~We have started packing and it still doesn't seem real.

I am so consumed with this cycle, the fact that in one month we are moving 

a few thousand miles away hasn't even really sunk in. 

I see boxes all over our apartment, and I still don't "get it"!

~Thursday Lily walked up and gave me a big hug and I just held her as long as she would let me.

I started crying. (odd!!!)

I only get two more weeks of big hugs and kisses.

This aspect of moving has hit me.

I can't believe I don't get to spend my day's with my favorite girls anymore. 

~When I bought my car last year it was because car seats wouldn't fit in the car I had.

I just assumed that when I took the girls' car seat's out it would be because 

we were having a baby and I would be putting their car seat in my car.

This clearly isn't the case.

And now the car I bought to accomodate car seats will be empty in the back.

I know it sounds stupid, but I just thought this car would always be full of kid's. 

Guess not.

~I want to get the girls a little something special before I leave.

I just have no idea what to get them.

They have every toy known to man! 

Any idea's?

Keepin' It Real

I am so glad the week is over, and a new one has begun.

Last week kicked my ass hard.

The past few weeks have been kicking my ass.

I am clearly an emotional eater, and stress and I have been spending lots of time together lately.

I have gained 5 lbs. in the past two weeks.

I feel like shit. I hate what I am doing to my body.

So I stress some more about that.

The move...I can't even talk about.

I just start to cry. 

Infuriated is the only word I can use to describe my feelings about it right now.

I feel strange talking about this because I know Kim my boss will read it, and I don't want to 

upset her, but it's what is going on in life, so I'm sharing.

I feel like a terrible nanny lately.

I feel like I'm not doing enough with the girls, or teaching them enough.

I feel like I am failing them and Kim. 

When we go out, we go to the outlet mall or Target.

Legoland is way too crowded now that it's summer.

The beach and park are hard for me to wrangle two 16 month old toddlers by myself.

I don't take them in their backyard near as much as I should.

I am terrified they are going to fall on the brick planters and crack their head of adorable face.

I get home at the end of the day and have overwhelming guilt that I have failed them 

ALL. DAY. LONG.

If you have any idea's for things to do with toddler's, I would LOVE to hear it!

On Friday I got the bill for my HSG test from a month ago.

My portion is $800. 

I'm fairly certain my blood pressure went through the roof when I heard that.

I know we can go on a payment plan, 

but when you add in our existing bills, my student loans that just went into repayment

saving for our move and the extra $1500 we have to come up with to get out of our lease...

WE ARE BROKE.

God help me and our checking account if Clomid doesn't work.

To top off my week, was today, Father's Day.

Travis was going to take me out for a late birthday gift.

I broke down crying and told him I didn't want to go.

Being out everyone celebrating Father's Day was just too much.

I feel terrible that I can't give Travis a child.

I know he doesn't see it that way, but I do.

It break's my heart because I know he is going to be an amazing father.

I can't wait to see him our kids.

But being surrounded by families celebrating their dad's was just too much for me.

I'm sorry I sound like a whiny bitch.

I know people are facing much, much worse.

I really have nothing to complain about.

I'm just feeling so overwhelmed lately, and I have no idea how to relax.

I've had a headache for days.

My body hurts it's so tense.

Simply put, I'm a hot mess.

Thoughts

This post is a random mash up of thoughts.

1. The host and judge's on these "Little Miss Perfect" pageant's are creeps.

You can quote me on that. 

2. A onesie is not an outfit. Your child is probably embarrassed you are parading him

around town in a onesie and socks & shoes.

You couldn't spring for pants?

Would you want to walk around in a bodysuit and shoes?

I think not.

Neither does your kid.

3. I went stand up paddleboarding this weekend and it was awesome.

I seriously had so much fun.

Don't get me wrong, I ate crap a few times.

But I can't wait to go back and take someone who has never been so I look like a pro.

4. I'm heading to Palm Springs for a few days at the end of the month

and I am literally counting down the days.

The sun, pool, heat, food, family and lot's of cocktails is my recipe for the perfect weekend.

5. I really wish nice fabric wasn't so expensive.

It kills me to spend $15+ for one single yard.

My wallet is thankful I am too cheap to spend that kind of money.

My fabric stash however hates me.

6. I'm jones-ing to throw a party.

Any kind of party.

I just need something to plan and a reason to get creative.

7. Why is the name Brayden/Braden/Braydon 

the most popular name right now? 

I do not why everyone is going banana's and naming their son's this. 

8. Please tell me I am not the only person who reads blogs 

because the blogger is a complete train wreck and you can't stop reading.

It's like crack. I am completely addicted.

I have to keep reading to see what craziness the person is up to next.

Hopefully, I am not that blogger for you! 

Randoms

One of the perks of my iPhone are all the random pictures I can take.

A few weeks ago I downloaded the Instagram app.

It's so addicting!

Because I know you are all just dying to see my pictures, here they are.

I'm warning you, the quality isn't great

and it's a random mix of subjects.

Enjoy!

Raspberry Mojito...delish!

Farmer's market finds

Another day at work, it's so rough!

Raspberry Peach Bellini

My bff's.

The cutest fluff EVER.