63 Days and Counting

That's right folks, I have 63 days until our wedding. As you probably already read, I am hating the wedding planning process. But I am looking at it as though only 63 more days until I am a wife! 63 days until we leave for our honeymoon! 63 days until we can start trying for a baby..ok, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself! I am so excited to start our lives together. I can't wait for our first little apartment (and believe me, it is little). I'm a little bummed that I have to wait a year to spend our first Christmas together, but I'm sure I will be able to deal with it. This Christmas is the first Christmas we will have ever spent together, and that I am really excited for!

So with 63 days left until the wedding, I have about 163 things left to do! Here are some pictures I sent to my florist as my inspiration. I don't remember where I got the pictures..sorry.

Money, money, money, moooooney

I'm a bad, bad blogger these days. I just have nothing nice to say. Nothing. Stress is my middle name lately. There is just so much going on. Between wedding planning, moving, school and looking for a new job, I feel as though my head is spinning. It's true; when it rains, it pours.

I know everyone says "money can't buy you happiness", but I'm going to have to beg to differ. Money would buy me peace of mind that my school will get paid for, our rent will get paid, we will have a bed to sleep in and something to sit on in our apartment, an "emergency" backup, a savings fund, my fiances wedding ring, our wedding cake, a trainer so I can fit in my wedding dress, spending cash for our honeymoon, the odds and ends we are going to need when we move in to our new place, all the things I still need to buy/pay for for the wedding. Money would be AMAZING right now. A second job would be amazing right now.

Recently I have felt like there is a 100 lb. weight sitting on my chest, and I just can't do anything to get rid of it. Even as I type this I feel like I can breathe. Please tell me this gets easier, that once I am finally married finances will blend and moving won't be such a stress. At least I know that in just over 2 months I will never again have to worry about my wedding. Ahhhh...how I cannot wait for that day.

Not What I Was Anticipating

I have spent the past 13 years planning my wedding. That's right, it started when I was 13 years old and I picked up my first wedding magazine. I didn't just dream about it, oh no, I took it to a whole new level. I started purchasing wedding magazine's every single chance I got. I made "booklets" with magazine cut outs of exactly what my wedding was going to be. I even sent away for information from vendors (my parents LOVED this). The older I got, the more intense the planning was. Even when there was no husband in site. Then I started dating T, and I knew early on that he was the perfect guy for me. (I know, gag) He knew my obsession with weddings, but I always played it off because of my desire to one day be an event planner. Then as time went on and T and got more serious I really started planning. I had no idea it was going to be so long before we actually got engaged.

Needless to say, I have planned our wedding, roughly 40 times. I had a wedding for every season, several states (Cali, Texas, Arizona, Nevada), and even considered a destination wedding (which FYI sounds like a marvalous plan right about now). I knew what flowers I wanted depending on the season, which theme I would chose and all the small details that went along with each of those themes. My wedding plans have gone from several local wineries, to a small family only backyard event in Lake Tahoe, to getting hitched in Las Vegas at the Wynn, Mandalay Bay and Caesars Palace. There were plans for Sedona and Scottsdale, Arizona. I carefully planned a wedding to be held at an amazing ranch in Austin, Texas. I searched for the perfect "old" chapel in Dallas, Texas. There were plans for a backyard wedding at our friends house. Details for a wedding on a cruise and all inclusive in Mexico or the Bahamas. There were ideas for a winter wedding in Lake Tahoe, Julian and Big Bear. A summer wedding in Big Bear, Julian and Lake Arrowhead. I can tell you about almost any location in San Diego or South Orange County. What I'm getting at is, I thought once I actually got engaged planning would be the easiest thing I have ever done. I could do it with my eyes shut and my hands tied behind my back and no internet for miles around.

And then I got engaged. And suddenly these exquisite, fabulous and stunning weddings I had planned came to a screaching halt. There was one minor (HUGE) detail I overlooked...THE BUDGET. And while I never dreamed that I would still be a waitress when I got married, I also always dreamed I would have at least double the budget I do have. Suddenly planning our wedding became a lot more work. I had to make sure all our decisions and choices were within reason and budget friendly. And the hardest decision of all was to chose if I wanted to have the wedding of my dreams (to the man of my dreams of course) and only have 50 people there, or have a huge wedding but none of it be what I dreamed my day would be. I went for option A. It kills me that I am not able to invite everyone I would like to. Believe me. But it was the choice I made. And yes I realize at the end of the day all that matters is that we are married, and that is so true. But for someone who has been planning this day for 13 years, not only do I want to enjoy every single moment of it with T, but I want to look back at what I created (especially since I am DIY'ing so much of it).

What I am getting at is, wedding planning is not what I always dreamed it would be. In all honesty, there are so many days I don't even want to think about it. I wish I could have sold T on the idea of eloping. So much less work involved and fewer feelings hurt. My parents wouldn't be going broke, especially since my sister was married only 7 months ago. I sometime wonder if I would be able to relax more and just really have soaked it all in and truly enjoyed the moment of being engaged and wedding planning. Don't get me wrong, I am so thrilled to be marrying T, but this 6 month wait is not as fun as I thought it would be.

For the Love of Pumpkin

I have never been much of a fan of Fall; probably because in Southern California fall isn't really fall. It's more like a not-so-hot summer. I do love the smells of fall, which consists of the smell of cinnamon in every store you step foot in. However, this year is different. The evenings are getting darker earlier, and the weather has cooled down, and it is just L.O.V.E.L.Y.Seriously, I am loving fall. The change is weather is amazing. Something just feels different this year, and while I can't put my finger on it, I'm loving it.

The one thing I have always loved about fall is pumpkin. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkins. My mom's amazing pumpkin-chocolate chip-oatmeal cookies.(They are out of this world) Pumpkin bread.I love pumpkins so much T and I will be taking our engagement pictures at a local pumpkin patch later this month. If it is pumpkin, I love it! Now, I know everyone goes crazy over the pumpkin spiced everything at Starbucks. Therefor, I would like to share with you all my Starbucks creation. It is divine. I wait all year for them to carry pumpkin spice so I can enjoy the best thing I have ever created....a grande (or any size) hot chocolate with 2 pumps of pumpkin. Now hold on, the minute I tell people they turn their nose's up and say "that's sick". But then they try it, and they thank me....for a very long time! It is AMAZING. It isn't overwhelming with pumpkin flavor, it's just the right hint of fall in your cup. I'm telling you, just try it. You will be thanking me. And if you try it and hate it, then I'm not sure we can be friends.


p.s. the picture of T and I is not from our engagement shoot, just some fun we had last year at the pumpkin patch!

What I Look Forward to The Most

I am looking forward to my wedding, very much so. Every day I get excited that we are one day closer to becoming husband and wife. I cannot wait to see the look on T's face when he sees me for the first time on our wedding day. I cannot wait to stand in front of our family and friends and repeat our wedding vows to each other. I can't wait for our first dance together. I can't wait for our honeymoon. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait!

But what I am looking forward to the most is getting to wake up every day with T. I can't wait to get to live with him. Especially considering the past 12 months we have lived 45 minutes away from each other. I understand that isn't that far, and there are many people who live much further away from their loved ones. I have no idea how they do it. But for T and I, with our schedules were are lucky to see each other once a week, and that is usually just for a few hours. I am so looking forward to learning to cook for him (I am not so handy in the kitchen!!) I am looking forward to making our little apartment ours and having a place of our own. I know things aren't going to be perfect, and there is going to be a lot of adjustment time. But I am so excited that at the end of each day we get to go home to each other. That is what I am really counting down to.(And when we can start trying for a baby, but that's a little while longer!)

Inspiration

As you probably noticed I have changed my blog for the zillionth time. However, this time it is different. My blog now reflects my wedding! I should explain further, my colors are deep red and black with accents of black and white damask. I know everybody does damask, as it is so popular right now, but I just can't help myself! I love it.

My sister and I are in the process of trying to design save-the-dates and my invitations. Since we are making everything ourselves, I want to make sure I am on top of things and give ourselves enough time to get everything done without having to stress.

I will continue to update my blog about all my wedding projects! I have this huge itch to go out and buy something for our future home. Nothing big, just a little something. But considering I have buckets of stuff I have been purchasing over the years, I really should hold back. I keep trying to tell myself to just wait until after the wedding, and we will have plenty of time to buy things. Plus, I should wait to see if we are lucky enough to get some gifts from our friends. Geez, I can only imagine how bad I am going to be when I find out I am pregnant. I won't even need a shower, I'm going to buy everything the day I find out! hahaha

Here are some inspiration pictures for our wedding..


I think these are simply stunning


There will be candles, lots and lots of candles